Lately when I wash my face in the morning I have started putting my hands under the icy cold water as it heats up. The harshness of the cold on my skin is shocking and almost painful for the first few seconds. I don’t like it because it doesn’t feel good- at all. But I have been doing this because I have learned it will strengthen my body’s ability to move from anxious back to calm. Essentially, it is good for me though it does not feel good.
I just passed my 40th spiritual birthday. I have been a Christian since I was 11 and at 51 now, it’s been a lot of years of growing up, spiritually and otherwise. But if I’m honest, there have been big chunks of time I resisted growing. It’s not that there was not some growth, but not the kind you experience when you are actively seeking it. I have faithfully attended church my entire life and have generally lived in line with God’s teaching so this resistance wasn’t an outright rebellion. And it wasn’t even conscious. It came through a sneaky, highly “normal” first world pattern: avoidance of the uncomfortable.
More than any other temptation, I think for me, the urge to seek comfort over growth has been my struggle. I see it in the way I spent years (I mean seriously, decades!) trying to “find time” to consistently read my Bible. The obvious and available solution was always there: get up a little earlier. There was always time. It meant the discomfort of getting up early and I deeply resisted it. I see it also in the years I avoided hard conversations or conflict and allowed my people pleasing to give me a way out. As a result, it has taken me until my 40’s to finally grow through my fear of conflict and become strong enough to confront problems or work through hurts in relationships.
Paul says in James 1:2-4:
“Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so you may be mature and complete lacking nothing.”
This attitude Paul encourages us to adopt is so opposite of what comes naturally to me, and I am guessing to most of us. He tells us to choose to see hardship, suffering or discomfort as a tool that matures us. While at no time have I ever consciously thought “I want to be a spiritual toddler for the rest of my life” my general mindset of resisting the uncomfortable was keeping me underdeveloped. This verse uses an interesting word to begin: consider. Consider means to really stop and ponder. Ask some questions. Think it through.
I wonder if we all need to consider our mindset about discomfort:
Do we immediately find a way out of things that make us uncomfortable?
Are hardships or trials always reacted to as emergencies to be rescued from?
How will we actually build resilience and courage if we never sit under the training of discomfort?
Are we angry at God for subjecting us to the things that will actually help us grow?
Lately I have been very encouraged by the growth I have noticed in my heart around perseverance. And I recognize all of it, every bit of it, has happened from two shifts inside me:
1. Not resisting and avoiding the discomfort of self discipline
2. Believing that hard circumstances are being used by God to make me mature and complete
So, what about you? Maybe there are ways this week you can begin to embrace a new attitude or behavior to allow growth in your life. My husband worked in a drug and alcohol rehab center for close to 5 years. One phrase many recovering addicts used in their growth journey was: embrace the suck. While not the most gentle way of saying it, maybe that’s the point. To get healthy and strong, you have to just embrace the really hard moments knowing they are reshaping you and making you into the person God wants you to be.