The trend in advertising and social media toward healthier body images for women is, by and large, a very good thing. Ads for Dove soap and many other companies are showing women with a variety of body shapes and sizes and celebrate beauty with a wider range of diversity-these are all good things. But in this new push toward healthy body image I have noticed a subtle shift toward body positivity, which is not the same.
While I am certain many, if not most, of the poor body images women have dealt with over the years originated in rigid standards for beauty and shape that were unrealistic for the average woman to achieve, I do not think the solution is the converse: like every part of your body and embrace yourself “as is” even if parts of you actually need attention and care to be healthier.
What is the difference between healthy body image and body positivity?
Body positivity says: I must like all parts of my body and see every aspect of it as beautiful and affirm all parts as good. To critique or aim to improve any aspect of my visible physical self is a rejection of my body as being good. For anyone else to imply there could be greater health or wellness through change to my body, is a negative stance toward my body.
Healthy body image says: I accept myself for who I am- flaws and weaknesses, strengths and beauty; I like who I am and I value the body God gave me as a part of me: I do not have to like every single thing about my body (size, shape, tone, structure, features, strength, abilities etc) to accept and appreciate it and I can work to improve specific areas that are uncomfortable or unhealthy while enjoying myself at the same time.
When my children were young, there were many traits I experienced as adorable, delightful and fun. Their sense of humor, curiosity, laughter, snuggles and inquisitive minds provided a consistent source of joy for me as their mother. At the same time, their whining, bickering and disobedience were a regular source of frustration and angst. So, as any loving parents does, I praised them for the good and worked to discipline and train them in areas they needed to improve. What I did not do was relabel those traits as good, pleasant or enjoyable because they weren’t. While common and understandable based on their ages and development, those traits still needed to improve, change and mature for my children to become the fully functioning adults they are now. (I am happy to let you know, bickering eventually ends!) Just because I was not always positive about my children does not mean I did not accept, value or love them. I was realistically accepting- which allowed my perspective to contain positive and negative views while still loving my children.
The biggest danger of body positivity as a blanket perspective is not giving yourself the freedom to be realistic about health and wellness. Sometimes we do need to lose weight, gain strength or increase our cardiovascular fitness to be the most functional healthy version of ourselves. Between you and your doctor these can be good conversations in caring for your body well as you age. Other times we need the permission to try a new hairstyle, wear make up differently than we used to or learn to style our clothing in a way that gives us a confidence boost- without feeling we are betraying ourself to admit we like how we look and feel better after those adjustments. And it’s also okay to have parts of our body we just don’t like very much (my extra wide feet and line across my neck, in my case) while still enjoying other parts and feeling confident overall.
Ultimately a healthy body image is not primarily about liking your appearance, though we should be able to acknowledge our unique beauty! It is appreciating your body for how God designed it, and enjoying what it allows you to do. When you see the beauty God gave you, care for yourself in ways that embrace growth and challenge and accept the less enjoyable parts it brings both peace and contentment. Then we can focus less on stretch marks or wrinkles or numbers on the scale and instead accept our body for where it is today, work to be a good steward of the aspects of health we can change and use our bodies to bless others around us and enjoy life.